blog post 115. #forgiveness
Or may it be better to change the word immediately to “for goodness sake”
Forgiveness is a funny creature and very difficult to notice much about. Is it a concept? Perhaps a feeling? Just an all round state of being perhaps too?
If I feel forgiving in a situation perhaps I can bend my mind around to forgive someone and not give the situation much more thought at all. Though this sounds like some easy simple thing to just make my mind up and do it, with a clap of my hands the situation or thing with a particular person is resolved because I made my mind up to forgive. That sounds too easy.
What about all the feelings involved with the resentment and the anger towards somebody over whatever they did. How do I allow these feelings to pass out of me and allow that other person live on like they did nothing?
If forgiveness is to be a concept then it would mean to me that I must set my mind on forgiving the person and once I make my mind up I can overcome the situation and just be done with it. The trouble I have found in the past is that forgiveness is not just that easy to bring myself to overcome or come around to.
What could be some stuff we might want to forgive for? Somebody hurt us in some sort of way, their actions or words have brought about hurt into our lives. We sit and resent them for this. We also gather many hateful thoughts towards that person, all because we have been hurt. We have been hurt, yes I repeat it again as this is probably the foundation lying under the anger and the resentments. My suggestion is to begin to find a path to a forgiving place would be to find what it is that hurt so much?
When I look at any situation I look at in a couple of different angles of view. I look at it from a view point of what has happened that is causing my mind to be so trans fixed on the hurt and the hatred? What is causing my emotions to be so rattled by the other person’s words and actions? These are the only two paths I know that show me where I hurt and how I am dealing with it.
In my mind I wish resentful things upon the person who hurt me. In my emotions I try to train myself to be cold towards the person that hurt me. I cannot find forgiveness for them. This all makes great sense.
The new concept, the path to living without such hatred and the emotional turmoil I might feel when hurting because of another.
My expectations of another person were too high.
My naivety has brought about hurt in my life.
My own wish to feel horrible is winning.
My own running and ranting in my brain is winning.
My friendship, trust, respect, honour & belief systems have all been shattered.
These are all reasons why I might be hurting because something another has done or said.
I choose whether or not I remain in a position of resentment. I choose to remain caught in my mind wishing hatred towards the hurtful person. I choose to wallow in my hurt and not allow it free.
The position I find myself in is one of, it is my own opinions and feelings that are continuing to allow the hurtful person mess with me. I am allowing the hurtful person absorb even more of me, like a vampire, I am permitting them to continue to drain my life source. No it is not that I have permitted them to continue hurting me. I am allowing the hurtful occasions stack up and tear me apart inside. I do not wish to be hurting nor do I wish to be in this position of horrible feelings. What can I do?
Allowing ourselves some time in life to breathe a little. Enjoying some small soft but deep breaths can give me a moment to focus. Now that I am paying attention to me, I can look at what all this hurt is doing to me. All the mind stuff and how even though the hurtful person is carrying on with their life and how they act, I am stuck with feeling hurt.
Where is the justice in this?
When I choose to allow myself to forgive them for their wrong doings, I am not letting them off the hook. I am letting myself off the hook. I am regaining the power back over myself. I am actually freeing myself from the torment I have allowed them to cause. I do not need revenge to even the score. I need better than revenge. I need a forgiving attitude. I need a happy place to return my feelings back to me where my hurt is gone away. I need my brain power back to focus and concentrate on my own life. I like to feel good, I like to think clear.
When we forgive someone we do it entirely for ourselves. We do not need to let the other person even know we have forgiven them. We do it for our own peace of mind, for our own emotional well being. If our entire mind is like a vault and it is stocked full of resentment and bitterness towards another who has hurt us, we have little room left for nice things or nice feelings. Coming to a point of forgiveness is a path we can choose that makes so much sense that we will laugh about how we didn’t arrive here sooner.
A freedom from the evil or hatred of the hurtful person. A freedom to feel better and enjoy life. A freedom to have a clear mind in our day, free from resentments.
Though it may seem a hard road or pathway to find, it does exist and it is a super place. It is a path that we can choose for ourselves because we love ourselves. We can choose it for us. Not the hateful person. Leave them in the “horridness”. When we forgive we break through boundaries. We forgive someone else and we benefit. This is a yippeeeee moment in life.
Try it and see what you think. I think you will find you are worth it. Forgiveness is all about YOU. 😊
Layman’s Handbook, in life. Simple tools to change how we live.
A journey to SELF.