Rebuilding one’s self, reinventing one’s self or making a comeback after something life changing. Let us call the life changing event some form of major shock. A shock to the system.
For me the shocks came from a couple of different angles and there were more than one of them. This is what has given me the wonderful position of becoming an expert in the arena of making “comebacks, reinventing & rebuilding one’s self”.
I would like to pause on a point for a moment.
I have never ever wanted to have to rebuild myself.
I have never wanted to make any kind of comeback from anywhere & I have never ever wanted to reinvent myself in this life.
The point of pause is on the idea of how I do indeed wish these things were things I never had to do.
Ya know when they say “ignorance is bliss”, well, I wish for the ignorance to be unknowing of a handful of experiences in life. I wish and dream of the bliss that I know many of you walk around in.
I ask myself things like am I jealous that you get to be in such a state of bliss?
I ask myself how envious can I be of a life of someone else’s?
The answer usually comes back to a similar answer. An answer that I will share with you in a bit.
I write for you today in an appreciation of world mental health day 2020. I have observed and listened to many different people over the years and have heard of many such items that refer to mental health.
My own awareness of mental health came to me by default. Perhaps and it is fair to say my own analytical ways of analysing myself and situations brought me to an awareness by default anyway.
So I share with you some ideas or notions. You can refer to them as my own opinions if you like.
They are several though I will only touch on a couple here in today’s blog post.
- Can we rebuild ourselves after a traumatic experience?
The simple answer is YES
The more complicated answer is, there are many tools and techniques that we need to hold our hand or be our crutch and sometimes for a very long time. The simplest and most basic I can mention is that when there is a willingness there is a way. One can struggle to find a willingness inside of themselves and so we may need to go to an absolute basic. An animal instinct of ours, something we may never even consider exists in our lives. The animal instinct inside of us is something we do not tap in to too much and sometimes we are not even sure it exists.
This instinct is an instinct inside of ourselves that tells us to “survive”.
A very primal instinct that will not allow us to give up. When we find ourselves in a position where we feel like we cannot go on and we cannot live or we cannot go forward any more, it is at this time in our lives that we can allow a willingness to survive to kick in. We allow our life be run by our most basic instinct. Somewhere inside in the animal that we are is a driving force that says, survive!
We do not need to be consciously telling ourselves “I must survive”, it is something deep inside of us that when we throw our hands down as if we are beaten and we allow nature and the “spiritual” of the world take over, it is then that we awaken with an instinctive driving force to survive.
Where there is a will there is a way.
Our willingness to give in and admit defeat, our willingness to understand we do not control anything.
Our willingness to live life on the terms that life wishes to dish out to us. These are basic bottom rung stuff that can help bring us to a point of rebuilding.
The point of surviving where we are no longer in control.
We perform our most simplest of activity, the exercise of breathing. When we just breathe. The only exercise I must consciously be aware of is that I remind myself to breathe and in doing so I allow my entire body work as it is supposed to in the biological sense of using oxygen to work my body etc etc.
We can find a great starting point of rebuilding and reinventing ourselves and begin the mighty comeback by having a willingness to simply breathe. Allow control to pass to our instinctive nature and continue to breathe. This is a starting point and today at any time is a perfect starting point.
*Why do we feel like we cannot go on?
The simple answer,
The hurt involved in traumatic experiences is something beyond our relams of comprehension.
The pain can be so deep that we have never imagined ourselves to have such depth. A place of raw pain in our feelings that is somewhere we never knew existed and so it is called traumatic, shocking, devastating. Because we had no idea such a place of deep hurt existed we have no clue how to deal with it.
The complicated answer.
Once trauma occurs, we tend to have a trip switch inside of us. A trip switch type safety mechanism that will make an effort to shut us down. Shut us down in such a way that we cannot feel anything. The trauma can be so devastating that a panic button is pressed inside of ourselves and from there all alarms bells go off inside too. These alarm bells are our entire system attempting to protect us from any additional shock or hurt. A safety mechanism so to speak.
When the safety trip switch inside of ourselves trips, we may spend a huge amount of time in our minds trying to piece together what is real and what is not. We may find that our thoughts begin to rush and race as our body has closed off our feeling area. We can become numb in our emotional self. Our head can continue to confuse us and with such experiences we are drained of energy by how our body is responding to the shock. This can be where our brain begins to convince us that everything is too hard, too difficult, not worth it and many other more severe thoughts can fill the entire mind. The end result can be that we cannot find any simple solution or easy answer to point us in a direction of continuing on.
We are drained of energy and have a head full of what we believe to be rational reasoning to stay stuck, not go on. We are stuck and have no desire or any clear vision of how we can cope.
I am going to return to the meditation type breathing.
When one finds one’s self in such a place, it is important to forget about all that we want.
Many thoughts will cloud the mind of how we want it all to go away, we want it all to be different. Things like “I want it all to be just like it was before” may cross your mind.
The breathing that I mention is again as a reminder that in such moments as these it is important to look to what we need and not what we want.
In order to survive we need to breathe.
Meditation does not have to be an organised class or time of the evening where we set aside an hour to chill out and reflect on our day. Nor does it have to be something we prepare for. To meditate can be to simply breathe and allow our entire mind focus on how our breathing is working. Focus on the nose and mouth as we breathe. Remember breathing is the basic of basics of what we need in this life.
As we focus on air moving in to our lungs and we begin to concentrate on how our body is moving muscles to continue breathing, we are meditating. In such a moment we can begin to feel the alarm bells slow down, our mind can clear for milliseconds and we can begin to release the choke hold on our emotions.
We can then gain a tiny insight into how we are so exhausted and how we have this built up feeling of not being able to cope. By clearing our mind and allowing some emotions to release from us we can slowly return the breaker switch back to a position of we can cope. Our energy can slowly be restored
The above examples are a little insight into what or how some of our most basic ingredients as a human can be so beneficial to us when we decide we will allow them.
Our animal instinct can kick in and we MUST SURVIVE.
Our most simplistic part of existing is that WE BREATHE.
Ah yes, to get back to whether or not I am envious or jealous of any other and their blissful state of mind. I, knowing that I have experienced deep shock and trauma and knowing that another has not.
The answer is NO.
The depth and enormity of how I have felt in such traumatic experiences in life, yes they have been of great pain and sadness.
The flip side of this is that I have stretched my emotional self to a place where I now also have a new level to where nice and happy things occur on the opposite end too.
The stretching of my emotional self into depths of despair have allowed me to also enjoy the opposite end of this emotional depth where happy and nice occur also.
I have gained a deeper level of feeling, though brought about by diving deeper than I have ever imagined, to feel nice in such a deep way is absolutely beautiful too.
I actually wish for everyone to enjoy and experience such depth of feeling without ever having to experience the negative end of the spectrum at all.
I discuss many ways in how we can help ourselves in the “Layman’s Handbook, in life”
The book I wrote all through 2019 and released it on 10/10/2019.
The book now turns 1 and has a book birthday on world mental health day 10/10/20
I wish you a beautiful journey into meditation and into yourself while you read my book.
Subtitled “Simple tools to change how we live. A journey to SELF”
I am very grateful to you for sharing this post today and I wish for you the greatest for the remainder of the year.
Share, comment, tell your friends.