Expectations, a long word of sorts, many letters in it. Also much to write about, especially given the whole covid-19 situation etc etc.
I have recently been involved in some rants on facebook taking aim at government protocol or procedures as they have been unfolding. Following along the saga that covid-19 has become. Yes there have been many items I have been disturbed a little by and then I read a random person’s post and become a little reactionary, perhaps the keyboard is not the greatest place to be, most days of the week.
I am a writer though and the main stage for a writer is behind the keyboard. A quick note on that one. I won an award for one of my books this past week and for that reason less rants were the m. o. for the week. I was too busy sharing the good news and trying to place a few ads and the likes to showcase my new winner sticker on the cover of my book.
Back to the rants though lol.
This is our life right now, yes this current moment in time. The breath we are breathing right now is the full extent of our lives. Imagine with me for a moment, this precise moment is what life is. We make up many moments each and every day and this is how we make up our life. The concept of right here, right now. This is the total breakdown of how real our life is. How we feel right now, how we think right now.
Pause for a second or two………
The covid-19 situation is perhaos highlighting cracks all over the place with our individual governments, health systems and service and many other horrible aspects that have raised their heads during the pandemic. There is a possible reason for all of this though. During the pandemic and the continued lockdowns, we have had too much time on our hands to pay attention to what our government are saying. This leads us to realising that many of them are corrupt, slight of hand corruption pedlars. We are realising a lot of things during the pandemic. Will we do anything about the items that become obvious to us though?
We are also amazed at how one half of our country’s population want to wear masks and the other half do not. Perhaps it is not quite as simple a breakdown as half and half. Just like in politics, we remain divided with our own opinions of what might be right and what might be wrong, the kind of “shoulda, coulda, woulda” stuff. We are all experts in the fields of politics and health matters now that corona has come about. Aren’t we?
I guess the political figures we have placed in power by our right to vote is something that is upon us. We chose and we voted. The political structure that exists is because of how we have handled our interest in politics say over the past 20 years. Yes that is right I am saying that it is upon each and everyone of us to take responsibility. We have been the society that have allowed crooked and corrupt politicians continue the archaic game of politics that we are now beginning to see as defunct and severely corrupt. Yup you and me and every individual in our society have allowed this to become our government and our representation.
Seeing the political body playout the lockdown disasters and the decisions being made on how to handle the pandemic, yes they are appalling and they are just like going on a couples holiday with a co-worker. Ya know the best friend from work and even sometimes you used to go out for a drink during the weel with. Then one year you decided to do a couples holiday together and brought your partner along and so everyone was so excited heading off on holidays. Giggling and laughing, getting a few drinks in before getting on the plane. Roughly about day 4 on the holiday ya realised that your best friend from work was not really going on holiday material. The going out for dinners as a foursome each evening didnt last for too long and ya just grinned and put up with each other by day 10. Things are never the same when they go under the microscope. Close friends can seem like real assholes sometimes if ya spend too much time with them.
That is like our governments, if ya do too much paying attention to them, you are going to find all kinds of things to dislike.
This goes for people of all walks of life.
So what has this all got to do with anything and what’s my buzz to share this with you this evening?
The book I won the award for is a lightweight self help book I wrote. I say lightweight as I am not a doctor of any kind and I have not written a book with detailed instructions on how to live your life. I am a layman with a world of experience and knowledge about many many different things. I have written a book called Layman’s Handbook. The sub title is “simple tools to change how live ~ A journey to SELF”
In my world travelling and my worldly experiences I enjoyed many fantastic things that a happy life is filled with. I also encountered some devastating blows to my life through loss and grief. I also have had the joy of saying NO to alcohol and drugs and found myself in many diffetent situations, both good and bad. There have even been times when I did not know what my own name was and these times came about while I was sober living. Just to give you an idea as to some of the depth to my own personal suffering and despair. Life aint easy & I know this very well, first hand.
So how or what can a “self help book” do for any of us. I wrote Layman’s Handbook as way to help myself and my own practices of breathing and my own meditation. I wanted to jot down some simple situations in life and make a little sense of them for myself and for anyone who would ever care to read them. The book is a real one size fits all and it is definitely not the case of ya have to have something going terribly wrong to need a self help book. This is why I kept it as simple as I could to not bog anyone down in “psycho babble” or have any psychiatry type stuff in there.
What I did want to do though for sure and what I always aim for when writing, even here in this blog right now, I wish to bring about a thought for you, a thought of your own. Not me writing and trying to plant any seeds for you to consider. I am writing to encourage you to have your own thoughts on the topic.
I subtitled Layman’s Handbook “A journey to SELF”. As that is what my intentions were, write a book that will help guide any person on their own journey of self discovery. Some of the chapters are very light hearted and simple reading really. From relaxation remedies to the words that we choose daily. How our own attitudes can often speak to people before we ever begin talking. And how it is our own words that we listen to the most, for this reason it is important to our own wellbeing that we say nice things.
Just as how we deal with people each and every day and now in lockdown and covid-19 we might find ourselves looking for ways to occupy our time, find a focus outside of hearing daily case numbers and death figures and totals. It can be a hard time to pay attention to any kind of news from around the world.
We must take responsibilty for how we feel, we must look to ourselves for how it is upon us or within us to make our own choices. We went out and voted and this is the government that “democracy” has chosen.
We must take responsibility when we feel pissed off with somebody, we must take responisbility when we are fed up, had enough and are just too dam tired of lockdown.
We always have a choice.
There is another chapter in Layman’s Handbook about choice.
Where are the words of wisdom here? What is the magic that I wish to share with you?
Our own expectations of others can sometimes be to a high standard. A standard that we believe we perform to. A standard of how we expect others to act and how others might treat us, based upon a standard we live by. A standard of respect, a standard of morality, a standard of “common decency” whatever that may be?
These can be our expectations of others. It is with our expectations that we may perhaps trip up a little. Nope there are no right and wrong ways as we are all different. We all have different levels of standards that we expect others to conform to. Therefore when I see some horrible wrong doings by our government, I must try not to react and be disgusted or ashamed. I must remind myself that I am expecting too much of the political body in power.
I must remind myself that when I am let down by another that I expected too much of them. I have found that by lowering my expectations of others that I have learned how to be less disappointed. I know it sounds super easy and simple, doesn’t. It? A real question might be, is it?
I touched earlier on how I have had a world of experience in things and most of these “things” really have been about my own emotions. My emotional elastic band has been stretched. Yes of course and no not at all, in the same breath. Stretched to where I felt they could not feel any worse and for this reason and the “ying & yang” of it all, stretched to a very nice content place also. The stretched to the negative side involved a ton of crying and hurt, pains that I have a hard time describing. Then also exists the opposite end of the spectrum of happiness and joy. My choice in my own journey to self has been to accept the hardships and accept who I am. My choice has been to not curl up and be beaten. My choice has been to lower my expectations of others. The only person I can expect better from is myself. Example, how much effort am I willing to put in?
Do I have the right to be pissed off at somebody because of how I am holding them to a different standard than they are capable of?
Do I have the right to decide what to expect from others?
Do I have the choice in how I am going to feel? Let down by someone or something OR totally fine no matter the outcome or response.
These little items have been very much part of my own journey to my own self. I have found that the less I expect from any other person or the less I expect from life, the happier I have become.
This has become a lifestyle choice of mine. There was a time I was in business for myself and I almost burned myself out trying to run around and keep it all going. I knew that I would only become upset if an employee were to let me down. I created less and less opportunities for any person to let me down and through this came about an understanding of myself and my expectations. When I knew that expectations were a big piece of becoming upset, then I knew there was a change I needed to bring into my life. Expect less and we do not get disappointed. Now that seems so easy doesn’t it?
Try it for a while and see how you get on. There is so much more content and happy time waiting for you when free up some or that space in your life. Imagine it like debug your ram. Free up some disc space.
Our lives are now. Our time is now. Have a great weekend. @TWOsonsTOOmany