An older post revisited – “Isolation”

June 26, 2018

To Isolate, Isolation, a good one ?

Isolation is a real tricky fella indeed.
To Isolate yourself from anything in life, friends perhaps or even family.
I can understand taking a position of not participating in an event or just saying no to the awesome weekend party, these kind of opt out options can be the norm. However at what point does it change from a healthy, ” ah no thanks” to an invitation to maybe even a bar b que these fine weather days, to an isolation buzz of just not wanting to mix with anyone at all ?

Can isolating ourselves be a positive step or just a negative step all round ?
These are worth considering and allowing a little thought when we make our decisions. Sometimes we consider the crowd who we might be spending time with and we prefer not to be around some people for a whole bunch of time. Other times and more than likely we know how our persona is and who we are in our social groups and so rather than have to perform for the crowd, cause this can get tiring, we say no to allow us a more relaxed time, doing something different by ourselves where we do not have to perform or act in any particular way.
There is the way we see ourselves and there is the way in which others see us.
Being YOU and just you can be the best time you will ever spend whether you are in company or alone. We have a natural mechanism to be exactly who we are when we are by ourselves and many times this self is the person we really are in love with.
So why bother to mix with anybody ? Right ??
Well I guess we do need people too, we need interaction and the laughter and fun our friends can bring us. We need our families too, as long as, of course that they are not putting the “funk” into dysfunctional. But we do need the unconditional love that comes with family.
So why do we isolate ourselves ?
I have no idea Other than to say I am quite guilty of it many times too, all of the above actually.
When we are by our lonesome, we can just think a thought and do it. We can put into action our thoughts immediately and in these instances, we love not having any discussions, no back and forth, we just think something and so be it, it s done, so isolation is great in this respect.

There is freedom in being alone by ourselves, a great feeling to see the sky or breathe the air and feel free as bird, as they say and so again this isolation has its huge benefits.
Some will play golf or some will ride a bike or others lose themselves in a book. These are all wonderful ways to escape and have some “me time” in a healthy isolation, by choosing to isolate.

It is I suppose when your thoughts become negative and or let’s call them shitty, that it is then that isolation turns nasty. Keeping yourself to yourself can be a sour experience. It is your family and friends who will encourage you to participate and even check in with you with the good old “are you okay, would you like to talk”.
Of course when all you want is to be alone and those words can be some of the single most annoying words to ever hear.
Check with yourself and check again, is your choice to isolate a healthy one or an unhealthy one ?

Many will always refer to isolation as a negative occurrence due to the fact of many times it is through hardship or hurt or some kind of pain that can cause us to withdraw. There are however many ways in which isolation can be healthy and a beautiful time all to yourself with thoughts and daydreaming to keep you in a happy content place.
I definitely chose this kind of isolation more often.
But not always. It can be a hurtful lonely experience too, less often of course.

So if you find you do isolate yourself regularly and like being alone, just have a check with yourself to see if perhaps it is worth forcing yourself to take part in whatever, family time or fun with friends time. You may not want to, but involving ourselves in activities or spending time with the ones we love is as rewarding as it gets.

I miss my little loved ones and so my isolation can be many times thinking of them as they have passed but I am certain to check in with myself as to how content am I being alone.

So you see it can be very fulfilling and enjoyable just in your own company and admiring life and just doing it all by yourself. Some crave attention and others hate it.
Try and find that happy balance of keeping occupied and staying involved with people so as not to slip away into a darker place on the inside. Do not isolate to enter into a black hole and if you find yourself stuck, try to talk, chat or communicate with the ones closest to you, then try just a little harder, you will be glad that you did.
If you find yourself isolating to recharge your batteries and have that lovely mix of “me time” and “them time” then you are probably quite content indeed.
If you find yourself wishing they would all just leave you alone, then perhaps it is this precise time to force yourself to participate and reach out to someone. They will be only too delighted that you did.
Now that it is summer, go out there and enjoy it, both in isolation on a private level and a participation with family and friends level.
Isolation is not always negative yet, never feel you have to perform for the crowd.
Be you, yes be you, a hell of a cliche I know it is but it is simple and very clear.
Be you.
You will be happiest when comfortable with who you are, to participate and isolate all within the same day.

If you want to know a little misery & grief coupled with an adventure or two, then check out
“TWO sons TOO many” it is a memoir although I am a firm believer you will not isolate yourself from family because whilst reading this you will want to keep sharing with your partner or friends exactly why your jaw keeps hitting the floor.

Remember there is good and bad isolation, just check with yourself and BE YOU regardless.
Say hi on Facebook / Twitter
@TWOsonsTOOmany.