5 simple reasons to begin with self. Oh, what does that mean?
In my book, Layman’s Handbook in life, a journey to self. I have jotted down some 27 chapters of tips and tools to begin a journey to self.
In my own lifetime I have had some major and some minor reasons to find understanding of myself and my situations. The reasoning for my searching came about when I was chin deep in grief and anger. Anger brought about while in a grieving journey for the loss of my loved ones. I had no real understanding of anything really. What seemed real was not real and vice versa. I could not understand much and I had no knowledge of how to direct my feelings. I have referred to myself as a misfit in society and a shambles of a man. The practices and therapies that I thought myself became very valuable tools indeed. And so, I felt the urge to share the meat and bones of how I climbed out of that hole through my self help book ‘Layman’s Handbook in life by Aidan Mc Nally.
1. When we wish to analyse and use our intelligence to look at the people around us, we are not really doing ourselves any favours at all. As simple as the saying ‘when we point a finger at someone, there are 3 fingers pointing back at ourselves’. It is not the other person that is the reason we feel any particular way. It is I, me, us that is having the feeling and that means simply, it is me that must work on my feeling. Not at all to use brain power to change the other person. Yes they may be the trigger, of course. How and ever it is my feeling that brings about discomfort to my life and not the other person. Reason 1 to begin with self.
The more we take this approach, the easier life becomes and the educational value of getting to know self is amazing. Finding pathways to understand my own feelings is the most valuable process I have ever undertaken. This is clearly why I have placed this as the number 1 and why I will continue to encourage such a journey in everyone I encounter.
2. Self made is a massive achievement, be it financially or spiritually. Self made, made by self. What I identified was that when I achieve something by myself, for myself and by my own understandings, the rewards that I have felt have been much more powerful and valuable. Besides there is no other person that can be held responsible. Becoming accountable for all that we do and say is a very valuable lesson to learn. Ah yes, this is not always the case for everybody and many others may wish to play the “blame game” and point fingers.
What I have discovered is that there is a huge portion of peace of mind, satisfaction and achievement waiting for us when we learn how we are responsible for our own lives. Self made is a beautiful place to relax in after we have put in the work.
3. The lenses and filters that I see the world through are mine. They have developed throughout my lifetime and my benchmark or scale of how I see things, my perspective is a piece of me that no other person can see. Others may relate on many levels and some may have deep understandings. The number 3 on the list of reasons for a journey to self is how it is my perspective that is what is necessary for me to understand. When I gain an understanding of my own perspective, it is then that I can begin to detect where another may be coming from. Without an understanding of my scalable view points, I cannot communicate to others. I cannot relate and understand. My smoothest path to understanding my fellow humans is to understand myself first.
When I became aware of how I take in information and then relate it to my own benchmarks, I began to see how everything I process is based upon my own understanding first, my own benchmark. This has allowed me to see some of my inner workings and allowed me to gain strength in life. Strength to understand how or why I feel certain ways. Definitely how to bring about a calm within myself.
Knowing that I can relate to another person in a true fashion is a very joyful place that I uncovered, which I found to be of comfort and benefit to both myself and other people. All based upon understanding where my own perspective comes from. Bringing value to others is very satisfying which in turn builds even greater value to my ~ SELF.
4. Sometimes we may need to hold a hand, we may need guidance from others, we may need help. It has been by taking a journey inside of myself that I have learned when and where to ask for help. The embarrassing feelings or blockades or barriers that I may have created inside of myself may have prevented me from becoming open to others in the past. Until I discovered these barriers inside, I had no understanding to know why I have hid away from others. There were times when I needed a shoulder to cry on, times when I needed an ear to listen. Some definition of pride stood in my way. By journeying inside of myself I have been able to discover the blockades that exist and my openness became much more free and authentic. I am going to say right here ~ the value and self worth that has developed by becoming open with others has been and still is the most rewarding, TRY IT.
By identifying a lifetime of blockades and habits or tactics to remain hidden to others takes so much effort to maintain. Effort that we can use in our day to day energy and well-being. We can even gain beautiful sleep and relaxation by discovering our inner barriers which we have developed over our lifetimes. Barriers that we have created for what we may have termed “our own survival”. By uncovering these barriers and developing an openness we begin to learn and develop clear communication skills. We begin to allow our own emotions to have a clear path to flow from within which in turn creates a much healthier life. Breaking down barriers is not only a methodology for revolution, breaking down barriers allows our inner self and outer self to begin to become aligned. How awesome is that?5. Freedom. What is this? Especially ask ourselves, what is freedom based upon my own perspective? Based upon my own benchmarks? Based upon my own barriers and blockades? What is freedom?
Our mind can imprison us. Our emotional blockages/suppression can imprison us. We can compartmentalise many aspects of life, we have the ability to store up memories of hurtful items and bury some of the painful feelings inside of ourselves. Reason number
5 to take a journey to self is to bring about freedom to ourselves.
We have all heard how to love ourselves is a first step in learning how to love others.
In order to love others I must learn how to love myself. To love myself is to stop hurting myself. To love myself is to begin to unlock my self on an emotional level and to allow my memories of hurt escape, set them free, remove them.
Ah yes, how though?
A technique to bring about a clarity of mind and free flow of emotion for me has come about through simple meditation. Simple breathing exercises to allow emotions surface and escape. To calm my mind to a point of clarity. These freedoms have been developed slowly though steadily. Through focus of thought on my breathing only, feelings come to the fore. They can be set free and also at the same time my mind can become calm. Freedom is a beautiful part of the journey. Freedom to enjoy all emotion, freedom to think clearly. These freedoms are the priceless investment return to enrich my life.
Yes some emotions are painful and have been buried for a long long time indeed. Can you imagine how much energy they have taken up to keep them buried?
Allowing feelings pass from us is and has been the greatest ever release I have felt. The freedom to feel outweighs any painful element and so emotion can be enjoyed no matter how painful. We can cry freely in hurt and we can cry freely in releasing these hurtful pains. The new crying very soon becomes enjoyable as we are beginning to experience freedom.
Freedom is priceless. Free to express, free to enjoy, free to think, free to understand.
I ask you to comment below on any of your own experiences or results from trying new methods of bringing about a nicer life for yourself. The items I have mentioned above are to kickstart you into your journey to self. Of course I appreciate your share of this blog post on any platform that you find it on.
Get your own copy of Layman’s Handbook in life, A journey to SELF. Begin today on the journey.
Thank you to you all for your supoort in all of my writing and my books. I am forever grateful.